I ended up coming here because I want to express my thoughts and feeling regarding this recent contest I joined. I’d usually go to twitter but 140 character is not enough and I don’t want to get complains.
Anyways, I joined a contest by TOMS that will give 50 people an opportunity to take part in this awesome trip to provide and put on shoes to children who are less fortunate. I’ve always admired TOMS for being a stable company that not only focuses on maximizing profits from their business but also advocating change by giving back to the community. I do enjoy joining contests and it gives me thrill when I win. I have joined a photo contest last month, while that one is close and intimate from school, this one is so different. People from all around the world, with thousands of entries, only 50 people will be able to take part in the trip. I have read the leading entries and they all have this touching and devastating stories such as a death of a loved one and life changing accidents that tug at your heartstrings, I mean, how do you compete to that? I am, however thankful that I did not have to go through those. There are entries that describes their aspirations and such that really makes me question my entry. Beforehand, I knew that competition will tough and that there advantages for other in terms of votes (ie. online friends, touching story, etc..) but there is just this fire burning withing me that makes me want this so much. You might think that it might be just my selfish want get away from all the stress from school, family and work. While that is true, if you know me very well, you’d know that it’s because of the children. I have this skill that allows me to instantly bond with a child, which might be why I am so fond of them. They are these innocent creatures that you can mold. I feel like they deserve everything. They deserve to enjoy the most out of their childhood because I believe that this is the stage in which we, as human beings will attain complete happiness. As children, it’s almost like what they don’t know can’t hurt them. I just really think that they do not deserve to suffer. I just have all these thoughts and feelings that I feel like exploding. I just have so much worries in my life now that a glance at child’s smiling face will be enough to calm me. There are so many things that I would like to do but it somehomw relates back to children. For example, I have always thought of working on retail for better hours and quit my three years job at Kumon. It can be a stressful job if you do not know how to handle children, which is why I really take pride in what I do. It feels great teaching kids how to read, write and do simple arithmetic and over time, you see progress. That, I believe, is the most rewarding part of the job. I can go on with stories about children but it will never be enough. I just can’t find a concrete explanation as to why children have this complex influence on me.
I just really want to go on that trip and maybe, I’ll know.
ps. if you come across this post, please vote for my entry at http://www.toms.com/ticket-to-give/flags/7644
THANK YOU !
I honestly hate unhelpful people and that of course, includes me. I hate having the feeling that an assignment is not going to be completed the day it’s due. I hate group/partner work because that gives me someone to blame and gives me a reason to just be more frustrated. I always wished that I was gifted with the intelligence to comprehend school materials more easily but I, unfortunately was not given that gift, nor any other special gifts for that matter. Gahhd, I’m just so stressed and I just wished someone would take the time to help me and get everything done. I need someone to lead and start for me and maybe, after that, I’ll be able to be on my own.
i’m so drained out. i’m so scared of the future. and what fears me the most is that i don’t even know myself. i have this need to excel in something. this urge to be known for something. i am surrounded by a group of talented people that excel in arts, athletics, and academics and i can’t seem to compare. this has always been such a struggle. i often question my existence. what’s my purpose? time’s ticking and i’m so lost.. so scared.. so tired.
Great! Along with the words, irresponsible, unhelpful, and lazy, i’m selfsih as well. Well, I now know how you got a hold of my tweets -through my suck-up sister who follows me on twitter. Girl, your argument is valid. I admit that I’m a selfish fuck. But at the same time, I believe that there is nothing wrong with being selfsih as long as it doesn’t harm others. btw, I’m a hypocrite too. Well you are taking after me anyways, so who give a fck or two. Maybe I should just stop going to school like Alvin, it does seem like a more favourable choice. Besides I havent been going to school in these past three weeks anyways.
What the actual fck? How did you even get a hold of my twitter? Whatever I tweet is none of your business. It’s what I feel and how view this mothereffin world. Now that I tell the world how much I despise you, you come into my room and rage. Look at the fcks i give. Then you support your anger with what you have done in the past for me as a child. You tell me how when I wasn’t able to talk or walk, you fed and supported me. THOSE was your responsibility as a parent. I did not ask to be born. This world is hell. I obviously wouldn’t be able to work and help you out at that age, and obviously I’m fcking wiser now that I know more about the world. I know how to be more practical and who provides for who. THESE ARE MY OBSERVATIONS. You can’t tell me what I know and don’t know. Whose fault is it that your siblings in the Philippines conceived a ton of children and isn’t able to provide for them? Not yours, theirs. Maybe if they had a little bit more common sense and thought of how miserable they and their children will be in future without any education or money, they wouldn’t have had so many children. FAAAAWKKK. I’m so fckin irritated at the moment. Do you even know how much I want to kill myself? And maybe to piss you off even more, I don’t believe in God. Dad, I’m a fucking Atheist.